Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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