I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
