I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
