Will you blow on my dice?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I want a musical about memes.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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