Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
