Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
