I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
