Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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