This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
