I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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