is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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