The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
