GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
