I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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