I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
