Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
