We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
