Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
