the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
