he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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