I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
