i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
lets start a swedish sibling band together
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
