you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
