piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
