Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just gargled with NyQuil
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
