Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Randomize
