Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm like, not good at living.
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