She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
