if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
from now on my penis is your penis
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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