she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
