Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
