1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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