ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
