omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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