Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I love having hate sex.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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