his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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