I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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