HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
