Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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