someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Randomize
