apparently the secret to your success is patron
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
