As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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