Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
