Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
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