Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
