They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
