Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
