My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
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