Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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