i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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