Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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