I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
