He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
