Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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