You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
