Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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